Roxy Michaels July 19th, 1978 - November 24, 2005

Roxy Michaels or Michael Sisti,
I'm not even sure how to start, but I just felt the need to write something down about this person who seemed to so love life. I guess I will start with how I met Roxy, and the little I knew him but.......how he still touched my heart. Upon hearing the news that he had left this world on Thanksgiving morning, I wept. I mean really cried and even now as I write this it brings tears to my eyes. It was so baffling since I only knew this person in a small way and for so little a time but I was extremely sad that now I would never have the opportunity to know more. I can only hear the fun stories about him from those who knew and loved him most as they share them. He is deeply embedded in many hearts and that is a bit of the legacy he leaves behind.
Well I was trying to remember how Roxy even ended up on my friend list. But I think it was a bulletin from Happening Harry about adding this guy Roxy. I did the good friend thing and added him. Of course I noticed he was very sexy who could miss that. Then I got a comment on my page from Roxy in July inviting me to his birthday party. I will never erase that comment now, it is very precious. So I decided I would go. I asked so many friends and could not get anyone to go on a Wednesday night. I was so bummed and decided to forget about it. After sending an email telling him I could not make it that I couldn't get anyone out of the house, and wished him a Happy Birthday. He wrote back and told me not to stay home, just come down and hang out with he and his friends. Normally I would have probably just said thank you anyway and have a good one. But for some reason I thought yeah why not, I'm not going to stay home, I'm just going to go. That night was really fun, the bands were great. Roxy came up and said hi after the show and that he was glad I came and was a total sweatheart. He sent me a really nice email the next day with some very sweet compliments. Little things like that mean alot to me, so for some unknown reason I saved it and never erased it. After hearing the sad news I had to look it up again, it took awhile but just another thing to make me cry lol.
I saw him a couple times after that at the Cat Club or the Joint, he would always come say hi and his usual hug. He was always smiling and happy with those eyes that sparkled. I will remember that.
The best memory I have of Roxy though will always be August 12, 2005. I only remember the date because I came across the ticket stub for the show I had gone to at the Joint. A friend Paisley, was playing at the Joint on a Friday night. I had made plans with a girlfriend that same night in Agoura, but I had already missed several of Paisley's shows and was determined to go to this one. I knew I would have to rush out after the show to go meet her before it got too late. As I was walking up to The Joint the guy at the door seemed to know me, and I was thinking how weird I don't know anyone here. As I got closer I saw it was Roxy and was surprised to see him there working the door. But he loved it, loved meeting the new people and the interaction and why not some extra money. I Had to rush into the show so I caught up with Roxy afterwards outside the Joint. No one was around so we were able to just hang out for a few and talk. I knew I did not have long and needed to be going, but I talked to Roxy for about 15 min before I rushed off. The last fifteen minutes I ever spoke in person to Roxy.
We talked about myspace and he was saying how he didn't know yet if he liked it or not. He was not sure. When I shared with him that I liked it for the good friends I had actually made and the music contacts and information of what shows were going on in Hollywood. I will never forget how his face brightened up and those eyes with that big smile when he said "hey that's right and I met you on there and you're really cool, so ya know what it's not so bad after all, you are right I do like myspace". I knew he was just still the cutest little flirt but I will now be very fond of that little memory. I hated to leave I was enjoying our conversation. He just felt good to be around. I like being around people who have joy and love life, when it is so contagious and you just feel good being around them. It was really hard to leave, I remember being bummed that I could not hang out and as usual had to rush to the next stop. The story of life for me sometimes..... always rushing to the next thing. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend either. So I left but you just never know when it the last time you will see someone.
I am so sorry for how busy I was in the next few months and missing so many shows of Roxy and Harry after that. So many times I was going to go but something else would be happening or I'd just be too tired. I finally made it once Labor Day Weekend, and brought my friend Jenn. I told her she had to come see Harry and the bands and this Roxy who was one of the sexiest bass players I'd ever seen with the no shirt and dang that bass practically on his knees. I always thought that looked funny, but very cool. It was really great at his Memorial Service that Peter tried to play his bass really low in honor of Roxy. I will miss seeing that forever now, except in pictures. But that night on Labor Day weekend, Roxy was out of town so we never got to see him and I didn't get the Roxy hug.
But in the end Roxy has brought a lot of good people together it is just too bad that he is not here to see it in person but..... he is here in spirit. You were one of a kind as far as I could see Roxy, you are at rest now, no more pain and playing that bass to your hearts content.
I am thankful that I added you that day, that you invited me to your party and I went. I am thankful that I went to that show in August and had that short time to just be in your presence. I am sorry I had to rush and that was the last time I talked to you. I am sorry for all the missed opportunities to come see you play. But I am priveledged to have met you for just a moment in this life. Goodbye Roxy....
Jenni

Sadness Sometimes turns to Beauty

a picture I took at sunset in Malibu on Saturday November 18, 2006
Sometimes you just go through those emotional times when you just want to breakdown. Well I don't very often so when it happens I have to just let it.
Normally I'm always the listener, I try to be strong for others and in times like these I wonder who will be strong for me and who will listen to me.... even though I sometimes won't let them. Instead I just disappear into nothingness, since I have to continue being the strong personality that I am and not show weakness.
So yeah....I've been sad the last couple weeks. Sometimes you just see things that you enjoyed or seemed good to you, ending or changing. Change can be good but sometimes sad when it affects people you care about. In the end though things usually come out ok....I know But it still makes me sad.
And people I care about.... sometimes I just start to wonder if they really care anymore or ever did. Then I start to think what's wrong with me am I just not that lovable. Otherwise why would the people I care about disappear or seem to not really care all that much anymore. I know it can be silly but you can't help how your heart feels or how your emotions lead you sometimes.
I am a very deep thinking person and sometimes those emotions run deep as well. I love deeply, I care deeply, so when I finally hit the wall and am upset it is so much more than one little thing.
Everyone is so busy in life anymore..... it is just part of living. But sometimes we forget to let the people we care about know that they are important to our life. I know we can all be guilty of that at times. You just never know what time you have on this earth or the other person has. It is sad to lose the time we have to enjoy those that enrich our lives. You can't get the time back. You never know if the next day they will be gone never to return again. And the regrets you will be left with and the goodbyes you can no longer say. Or the love you can never show them again.
One thing that can come out of sorrow and reflecting for me is my creativity. I am so glad I have my strong emotional tie to music and how healing it can be in letting those feelings out. So I try to write and work in those emotions. My favorite place is the beach so tonight that is where I headed. One of the beautiful things about living in southern California
And being that it is like summer in the middle of winter one week before Thanksgiving I ended up in Malibu at the beach just as the sun was going down. [pictured above] It was almost like my own small blessing. I decided to go there to just be with myself and my own thoughts. Maybe write some lyrics.
Caught the beautiful last light just as the sun dipped into the ocean. As it turned to night, I walked into the sand and sat in a chair with a blanket wrapped around me. It was awesome out, not even that cold. AS I sat there I watched the last few surfers come in and a guy sat behind me with his friend strumming his guitar. For the hour I sat there talking on my phone to a dear friend, the man never stopped playing and singing his soft melody. At times I almost forgot he was still there, it seemed like backround music with the sounds of the ocean.
Then fireworks started in the sky over to the side from some house. I am not even kidding, beautiful fireworks that lasted a few minutes. And still the guitar in the backround and a guys soft voice. I wasn't even afraid to be there at night, it just seemed like my own personal treasure and haven. Suddenly I don't know when it happend but I noticed the fog had come in and was all around me so I left.
It was a beautiful way to end the last couple weeks, still a slight sadness but time and life go on. So just don't forget to let people you care about....... actually know you care. We all need to hear it once in awhile.
I got a poem tonight from a friend and It seemed a perfect way to end this.
A RON ARAGON CREATION
A tear in the sky will always appear whenever a baby's cry is near. A cloud will roll by and many a raindrop will fall when a loved one leaves this existence finally once and for all. A tear in the sky is around, when the sound of pieces from a broken heart hit a low emotional ground. The sky will somewhat fall, when that sliver of hope is there, but seems somewhat none existent and close to very small. A tear in the sky can only appear, if only you don't let the opportunity of love in any form by you get near.
by Ron Aragon